2009 the moonlight year

I refer to it as the moonlight year because of how I spent it in shadows and twilight. From snuggly comfort zones to being completely awestruck, 2009 and has passed in a flash and shwon how much I can be externally affected by change. Some people call it separation anxiety, but I think it's just me trying to grasp whatever I can while I still can, but failing. The words 'everything is temporary' are still not fully acceptable to me. I feel it sink to the pit of my stomach like a brick, abusing it's power at the most unlikely moments.

The thumping bass of the clubs, the dancing crowd pulsing in unison to the rhythm, the taxi hollers, the desert scenes, the whirling color and perfume that lingered in my hair, the end of the trail and the misty tug at my heart makes me feel so displaced even when I'm standing still.

Toddlers squealing, the gentle hand ruffling my hair, the stifled laughter between old friends and old jokes, the heat, the confusion and the deep fried dumplings. I cannot live without you either.


In short, 2009 has revealed a very lost, confused and scared Gwenda, who has come face-to-face with the justifications that she was afraid to tempt and have been forced to come to terms with. Let's hope that 2010 will be a more enlightening year, with more answers and fewer questions.