a random dedication

to the one who fits the bill,

sometimes I get in over my head

and unappreciative.

But somehow, when I merely mention or describe the state of things between you and I to someone else,

I am reminded of the fact that

I am very lucky.

I am lucky to be able to be myself and have no restrictions or boundaries enforced upon me to know that you care.

I am lucky to have something that spoils me to a point where I no longer have the ability to empathize with the misfortunes of others because of this optimistic simplicity.

Due to the fact that I have never realized how simple and happy things can be, it somehow astounds me to see how difficult it is for other people, when in my mind I think like a bad infomercial - If I can do it, so can you.

And I know this is not always the case.

so, for the one who fits the bill,
I am thankful.


and for others,

I apologize for being self-absorbed, and for oversimplifying things. and not being able to understand or empathize anymore. I apologize for being sick and tired of cynicism and "reality" and being realistic, and for being this selective because I've been tirelessly educated on the complexities of our living world for almost 3 years now and being examined for my knowledge of it in due time. and I'm tired.


I guess calm happiness does bring out the worse in me.